A few days ago, I saw one of my staff members snap at another teacher without knowing. I thought to myself she might be having a bad day. A few days after that she did it again to another teacher without realizing once again. I thought wait, I need to tell her. If she’s moving up into a leadership position then she can not be like this at all. I don’t want people not liking her from day one. So I thought to myself tomorrow, I will speak to her off the record and as a friend. I knew wording it would be hard and I didn’t want her to get upset nor take it the wrong way.
The next day I didn’t have a chance to speak to her until after school. I started off by saying, “This is off the record and its advice from your friend and not your AP. Since you are entering the leadership world next year, I recommend that you start working on how you answer other colleagues around you. Yesterday and few days back you snapped at two different staff members when they asked a simple question. That isn’t right. Believe me, being in this role myself is a learning curve, as I need to watch my facial expression because anyone can easily read me if I am annoyed or dislike the person in front of me. All my previous principals told me you need a “poker face Dana” when you enter leadership/admin. It was not until this year that I am really working on it. It takes a lot out of me but I’m improving. So for your sake and sanity be careful at how you answer back to staff/admin.” Boom! There…I said it. 1, 2, 3 she will get up say thanks and leave and get upset with me. She stayed sitting and looked at me and said, “Can you tell me when?” So I told her both times and explained to her that I tried looking at her to hint it but she didn’t notice. She replied back and said, “I am not that subtle, I wouldn’t have understood why you were giving me that look. But I will work on it. I was telling another staff member that I need to work on it as well.” I told her that we are in this together and can help each other out but to keep it in mind for the future and to begin from now. She smiled and walked out of my office. I was able to inhale. I felt that it went well.
The next morning she walked into my office and said, “Good morning, I just wanted to say thanks for giving me that advice yesterday, I truly appreciate it. I know I do that at times but would like your help to let me know when and if I do it if we are in a meeting together.” I stared at her and smiled and said, “You are very welcome. Of course I’ll help you no worries at all.”
I smiled and thought to myself, WOW, that wasn’t bad at all. It went better than I expected. Phew. My first advice/coaching I gave went well. Yaaay! Too many more…
